No matter how much food me and my sister eat, my parents are always dissatisfied. :-| There were days when I used to scream in frustration, “Do you people want us to become sumo wrestlers?!” zap would come the reply, “please don’t put them to shame!!” >:( During one of those I-eat-no-you-don’t sessions, my mom recollected those ‘good old days’ when we could be bullied into eating. And that was the time when all the secrets came tumbling out..~!!
When I was a kid, I had trouble with food. As all young kids do. My sister also seemed to be having the same problem. No matter what, we were just unable to eat. While chocolates and ice creams were wolfed down within seconds, food took ages. Breakfast was a headache, lunch a pain, and dinner the heights of it..!! >:( And so, my clever momma devised many clever ways which made her two little girls eat their food without a word. And that too without obligations or violence. Beats you right..?! beats me as well, coz when I look back at those days, I realize how we’ve been cheated and how foolish we’ve been..!! :|
There was momma’s favorite raison d'être, ‘if you don’t eat, you’ll remain kids for the rest of your lives’..! Bleh..!! makes me a fool to have believed that one. How can I ever remain a kid for the rest of my life..?? (though I wouldn’t have complained :P) what a useless fool I’ve been..! And then there are the others, “If you do not eat, your tummy will shrivel up and you’ll remain short and bent!” I almost screamed at that one. How can anyone remain bent at the tummy..?? That meant I would have practically remained a right angle all my life..! whew.. more insults were to come my way.. :(
My momma recollected one favorite game of hers which tricked us into gulping down food without a word..!! It was famously called the ‘Charlie Chaplin’ game. This was one hell of a game neither me nor my sister would ever forget in our lives..!! The game was of course, my momma’s invention. It takes its roots from the legendary Charlie Chaplin, who was pretty fast at whatever he did. And so, accordingly, my mum would sit at the table with us, while we sat like fools. She would close her eyes and say, “Charlie Chaplin” and count up to ten, before which we were supposed to gobble up the food from our plates. Can you believe it, we really used to do so! We actually ate our food at top speed and replaced our glum faces with a look of pure triumph..!! Momma would then open her eyes and exclaim, while we'd sit there, grinning like two silly chaps. Grrr.. It was shame on our behalf to have fallen for that one!
But then, the game started to get boring as the days passed by. And it never worked in school due to two primary reasons, i) nobody clapped hands and shouted like mum used to when we’re done and ii) we have realized that we were being exploited with those silly games. :)
While we relished at the thought of being the brainiest tots who could see through a trap when there was one, mum used to come up with new ideas, phasing out the ones that were no longer working. She would think of several ways that could make us eat without fuss. My mum was quick to realize that rewards never worked, as there were lots of times when me and my sister tricked her into giving us what we wanted while mysteriously forgetting to give her what she wanted. He he he… :D So much for cheating..!! ;)
When mum realized that she has hit the dead end, she resorted to the most feared and the worst of all solutions – my Dad. She would make my dad sit at the dining table, while me and my sister ate like two sober cats, red faced and muted, exchanging dark looks. My dad never said a word, his presence was enough, and my mum was the happiest, chatting away to glory while we swallowed without a sound. The same thing happened to our pet doggie Bobby, as well. Even he used to eat his food without trying to act pricey like he used to with mum. At some point of time, he too must have realized that my dad was one person who cannot be tricked. he he..
I wonder how dads can be amazing and fearsome at the same time..~!! :o|
But things do change dramatically in life.. Innitt..?? While I sit and think of all these things, I’m overwhelmed at the purity and the innocence of all that has happened when I was a kid. Had I known that things would change as we grew, I would have been a better kid. ;) The change has been drastic. I remember the day my line manager told me to get used to having my meals all by myself. I smiled at her and told her I’d rather work extra than have lunch alone. Needless to say, she was pissed, but there was nothing I could do. How can anybody, who has a record of being chased and bullied into eating, and had lots of loving company at meals, suddenly turn into an emotionless, mechanical bot that guzzles down food without so much as a soul at least to smile at..?? :P
Thankfully, my folks at home still bully me when it comes to food. And I’m relieved, coz I have really started enjoying it, I have realized that it is for my own good, “after all these years”, says my poppa. :D
So much for life.. and yeah, so much for food! ;)
Cheers..!!
Swati..~!! :)
